Active listening part 2
What Is Active Listening? 3 Principles
Often, while we are listening, we are thinking of
how we will respond. We might get distracted and miss some of what was said. We
may not be paying much attention to the nonverbal communication cues of the
speaker.
Active listening requires the listener to pay
close attention to what is being communicated verbally and nonverbally. The
listener is encouraged to interpret not only the content of what is being said,
but also the emotions present and the body language.
In order to achieve this, the listener must be
willing to devote energy to the task. They will need to have an excellent
attention span and honed empathic abilities. Active listening has even been
referred to as the “measurable dimension of empathy” (Olson & Iwasiw, 1987,
p. 104).
There are three main components of successful
active listening (Rogers & Farson, 1987):
Listen for total meaning
When someone is conveying a message, there are
two meanings to gather: the content and the feeling or attitude underlying the
message. An active listener is not only tuned in to the information conveyed,
but also how it is conveyed and any nonverbal cues present.
Respond to feelings
After listening, when a response is appropriate,
the listener should respond to the feeling of what was said. In this way, the
speaker feels understood and empathy is established.
Note all cues
Nonverbal
cues include tone of voice, facial or body expressions, and speed of speech.
All of these taken together can convey a much deeper meaning than merely the
content of what was said.
Carl Rogers’s take on active listening
Psychologists Carl Rogers and Richard Farson
(1987) are responsible for defining the concept of active listening. They
describe the skill as vitally important for effective communication. For
Rogers, the ultimate goal of active listening was to foster positive change (Rogers
& Farson, 1987). This change can occur in the context of a client/helper
relationship or in the context of a group.
Rogers described three important principles in
effective counseling: empathy, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard. Active listening is a tool that fosters and
supports these principles.
Empathy is demonstrated in active listening by
the listener reflecting the thoughts and feelings of the speaker. These
thoughts and feelings are believed, supported, and respected. They are not
dismissed or challenged.
Rogers stresses that in order to be successful in
active listening, the listener must be authentic in their care. This reflects
the principle of genuineness. Active listening can’t be faked.
Active listening requires true feelings of
respect toward the individual speaking. The listener accepts and supports the
speaker regardless of the content of their words. This illustrates the principle
of unconditional positive regard.
Is It Important in Communication? 4 Benefits
Active listening is often referred to as a “soft
skill,” meaning that it is useful in many contexts and beneficial
in most professions.
It is also a skill that will benefit the listener
in their life outside of work.
Whether at work or in casual conversation, active
listening can provide a safe and empathetic space for a speaker, fostering
feelings of trust.
Active listening in counseling
Active
listening has been shown to be a vital skill in counseling. Empathy and
empathic listening foster the therapeutic relationship, and the relationship
between therapist and client has been shown to be the one of the most crucial
and stable predictors of client success (Martin, Garske,
& Davis, 2000).
Another benefit of learning active listening as a
counselor is that it may increase self-efficacy. Levitt (2002) examined the
impact of teaching active listening to counseling students and found that this
skill created greater levels of confidence in the students and helped to reduce
their anxiety as new counselors.
Active listening in the workplace
Kubota, Mishima, and Nagata (2004) examined the
effects of an active listening training program on middle managers, finding
positive results. In workplaces, a large portion of stress experienced by
employees comes from interpersonal relationships.
The study showed that teaching managers who
learned active listening skills were better able to support employees with
mental health issues, providing a safe environment for them to share their
difficulties without judgment. This led to calmer behaviors and more success
(Kubota et al., 2004).
Can active listening skills even work through
text conversations? Perhaps so. A unique and interesting study looked at the
application of active listening to written communication online (Bauer &
Figl, 2008). This case study was examining soft skills among computer science
students and to see if active listening could come across in instant message
conversations.
Bauer and Figl (2008) found that all the
different techniques of active listening translate well into text conversations
and that using these techniques had positive outcomes in communication.
Although the students showed skepticism that it would work, they found that all
the skills worked well, even online.
Active Listening Skills You Can Foster
Active listening requires a skill set that
differs from typical everyday listening. Not only are you using the principles of empathy, genuineness, and unconditional
positive regard, but you must also develop certain skillful ways of interacting.
It’s useful to begin with the body language of
the listener (Robertson, 2005). How do you know when someone is listening to
you? Maintaining eye contact and appropriate facial expressions is important to
convey empathy and attention. As with all aspects of active listening, these
indicators shouldn’t be forced or faked. They are simply a reflection of your
genuine attentiveness.
It also helps to remove distractions from the environment. Depending on the
context, you may desire to set up an environment that conveys peace and quiet.
If you are in a public place, putting away distractions or moving to a quieter
location can also be helpful.
Another skill is following (Robertson, 2005). To
actively follow what the speaker is conveying, you allow space for them to
speak, reducing or eliminating questions and giving space for silence.
In a non-active listening situation, there may be
quick back and forth, many rapid questions, or people may talk over one
another. With active listening, the speaker is given the time and space to
speak as much as they want. And they are encouraged to continue.
A third skill is reflecting (Robertson, 2005).
This is the skill of repeating what you heard the speaker say, but avoiding
parroting it back verbatim. You are trying to capture the essence of what they
said and reflect it back to them. You may also try to capture the feelings that
are conveyed.
This is always done without expressing judgment and with the goal of understanding. It may even be useful to
ask if you have it right before asking them to continue.
7 Techniques to Train Your Active Listening Skills
Paraphrasing
Convey interest
Encourage the speaker to keep talking
-
Restate the
information just received with your own words.
“So you
showed up at the meeting on time.”
Verbalizing emotions
Show that you understand
Help the speaker to evaluate their own feelings
Reflect the speaker’s basic feelings and emotions
in words.
“And this made you really angry.”
Asking
Get more information
Ask questions.
“And after that, John did not react?”
Summarizing
Review progress
Pull together important ideas
Establish a basis for further discussion
Restate major ideas expressed, including
feelings.
“These seem to be the key ideas you’ve
expressed:”
Clarifying
Clarify what is said
-
Help the
speaker see other points of view
Ask questions for vague statements.
Restate wrong interpretations to force further
explanation.
“You said that you reacted immediately. Was this
still on the same day?”
Encouraging
Convey interest
Encourage the speaker to keep talking
Disagree.
Use varying intonations.
Offer ideas and suggestions.
“Then your manager approached you. How did they
behave?”
Balancing
Get more information
Help the speaker evaluate their own feelings
Ask questions.
“Did you perceive the inconvenience to be worse
than not being taken seriously?”
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